Descriptive Writing

We have been working on our writing to make it more descriptive. We used our senses to describe a scene at the beach and our aim was to let the reader know where we were without actually telling them. This writing technique is called “Show, don’t tell”

We know our readers are smart and can infer our meaning without us having to explain every single detail!

Here are some of our introductions. How do you think we went?

Did we achieve our aim of “Show, Don’t Tell”? Which senses can you see being used in these introductions? We also had to use a special writing technique called onomatopoeia. Can you find it in our introductions?

25 thoughts on “Descriptive Writing

  1. What fabulous examples of the beach! I noticed lots of examples of onomatopoeia. I was waiting to see Boom! Bang! Crash! of waves.

    • Hi Mrs Zarb,
      They were very good examples. Most of the onomatopoeias were in the body parts of the text, which weren’t included here. I really wish I could go for a swim but I have to sit down and watch TV and play my ipod.

      From Mitch

    • dear mrs zarb,
      we did onomatopoeia because it was 1 of our tasks. it was really fun. maybe you should try onomatopoeia sometime with us.
      from ned

    • Hi Mrs Zarb,
      how are you?
      We noticed lots of examples of onomatopoeia as well.
      Amber and I put onomatopoeia in our beach descriptions.

      From Jess and Amber

    • Dear Mrs Zarb,
      we enjoyed the beach writing and onomatopoeia also you were a awesome teacher on April 1st. Thank you for teaching us.
      Love From Tyler and Jackson
      .

  2. Dear 3/4 learning lizards
    I saw lots of examples of onomatopoeia
    like boom! crash! bang !
    from Badr in 4B 🙂 🙁 😛 😉

  3. Hello learning lizards,

    Great sounds!
    I especially liked the part where you didn’t say “beach” in any of your descriptive writing.

    From Declan B 🙂 🙂 😉 😉

    • Hi Declan,
      Thanks for leaving a comment on our blog. I’m so pleased that you could tell where we were talking about without us having to mention the word “beach”. Have you used onomatopoeia in your writing before?
      Miss Fraser 🙂

  4. Dear 3\4 learning lizard’s

    I really like how Felicity put the hot yellow sun and I felt the sharp sea shell’s crunch under my feet it’s very descriptive.
    I like how you didn’t say beach in any of your writing.
    I picked up lot’s of onomatopoeia such as:
    Crash!
    Boom!
    Bang!
    and Bash!
    I think you achieved your aim of “Show, don’t tell”.

    From Amber in 4B

  5. Hi Mrs Zarb,
    Thank you for stopping by at our blog.
    I am glad that you liked our beach writing. I hope you liked my one.
    From Azmain

  6. Hi 3/4D
    Have a fantastic holiday and I hope you have a heap of fun.
    Have a great Easter and I’ll see you back next term.
    from Eric

  7. Dear Learning Lizards,
    I liked what you said about using your senses and telling them there are big waves, seagulls, palm trees and wet sand. It gets a picture in your head and tells you what they are thinking.

    What place would you think of to do show don’t tell?
    From:Isaiah.T

  8. Dear Larning Lizards,
    I like what you said about using your senses and sawing there are big waves, seagulls, poam trees, wet sand and lots of other stuf. The slide show was cool!

    What is a place you would rigth about show don’t tell?
    From:Isaiah.T

  9. These beach descriptions really make you want to read the rest of the them. When you when read the start you find it hard to stop!

    • Hi Cory,
      Thank you for leaving a comment on our blog and thank you for your kind words. We are working on publishing the rest of our writing and uploading it to our digital portfolios at the moment. When we have finished, we will share the links.
      Thanks again,
      From Miss Fraser 🙂

    • Hi Keisha,
      Thank you for your compliment. We have been working very hard on our descriptive writing and are proud of what we have written. We will be putting up our Food Descriptions soon which are even more amazing! Have you been doing descriptive writing in your classroom too?
      From Miss Fraser 🙂

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